Sunday, August 17, 2014

Witchouse (1999)

Director: David DeCoteau

Writers: Benjamin Carr, Matthew Jason Walsh

Composer: Jared DePasquale

Starring: Ariauna Albright, Matt Raftery, Monica Serene Garnich, Ashley McKinney, Brooke Mueller, Dave Oren Ward, Marissa Tait, Dane Northcutt, Kimberly Pullis, Jason Faunt, Ryan Scott Greene

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Evil beyond evil.

Plot: On Mayday 1998 in the town of Dunwich, Massachusetts, Elizabeth gathers together a group of specially selected friends for a rather odd party. It turns out that she is the descendant of a malevolent witch named Lilith who was burned at the stake precisely three hundred years ago. Now Elizabeth hopes to resurrect her dreadful ancestor and has a specific (and murderous) need for the guests she has chosen.



My rating:  5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

There are two things keeping me from giving this dumb as fuck movie a lower score.  Jared DePasquale's ballsy score and the dialogue and acting is so ridiculously bad that I laughed a few times.  I don't recommend watching this alone.  You should watch this with friends and liquor.  Some of the actors do alright but there are a couple that are downright horrid.  That's where the laughs start.  Then you've got this so-bad-it's-funny dialogue.  It's over the top and silly stupid.  The effects are fine except someone went chimpshit over using thunder and lightning effects. This is made by Full Moon after all so you're going to get some good effects.  They know how to get the most of out their limited bucks.  Anyone looking for nudity can move onto something else.  And, being a Full Moon picture, the running time is pretty short (thankfully) at an hour and twelve minutes.  It's a bunch of kids making a movie.  I'll throw down some cash that they enjoyed making it a lot more than you will watching it.  The Full Moon DVD is fullscreen, which is probably as it was filmed, and the only extras are trailers for more FM movies, DEAD WANT WOMEN, KILLJOY'S REVENGE, ZOMBIES VS. STRIPPERS, EVIL BONG 3, KILLER EYE: HALLOWEEN HAUNT, GOOBERS, SHANDAR, and HAUNTED CASINO.  I picked up the box set that has the second and third film in the franchise for two bucks.  Not bad but I won't be watching the rest of the set. 

unusually long opening credits but with a great music cue from

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